karmaville

On the job.

I have now worked three days at my new job.  A few observations:

1. Job titles mean very little.
2. THIS is the job I now realize I have always wanted.  Even if I am not really sure what my job is.
3. It has triggered some surprisingly emotional reactions from me about my life.
4. I like my boss.  I really like my boss.
5. Making frioends with the IT person was a great start.
6. Chocolate is the best way to have people come visit you.
7. Business plans are boring.
8. Change is difficult.
9. Getting up at 5:45 is really not very much fun.
10. Dressing up again is fun.

That's it for now.

Drunk and unemployed

I have just sent my final report to the home office.  My keys are in my hand to turn in.  I am tipsy from an 18 year old Macallan and I am officially unemployed until Monday.

Cue the bassline.

The soundtrack of my week?

Dum. Dum. Dum. Da. Da-Dum. Dum.
Dum. Dum. Dum. Da. Da-Dum. Dum.

Yep, that old Queen Classic Under Pressure.  Why you ask?  Let's count the ways.

1. My current job ends on Friday, necessitating numerous phone calls, emails, and visits to current volunteers and partners.  Of which I am 30% complete.
2. I have to complete a report listing every conversation I have had with every contact in the last year so the person coming behind me isn't just dropped in. 0% compete.
3. I must clean my office. 40% complete.
4. My parents house goes on the market next Wednesday which requires me to commit (as of yesterday) to help all day Saturday and Sunday cleaning and moving things.
5. My sister announces to me that her house (where I currently live) is going on the market Monday.  Yes, in six days.  Average time on market for a comparable house in our neighborhood? Five days, meaning I have about 5 weeks to find a new place to live.
6. The apartment complex I found I would like to move into? Full until at least August if not beyond.
7. The 360° walk-through people and the carpet cleaners are coming Friday, so I have to be packed ready to move, have the entire house cleaned, and  in three days.
8. I promised upon pain of death that I would not bail on my friends Saturday night since I bailed last week.  So not matter the pain or tiredness, I must go there.
9. My car registration is due Tuesday.  My car will likely not pass DEQ. Ergo, no registration.
10. I have exactly $4.27 in the bank until Friday.  I have groceries for only two days and an empty gas tank.  You do the math.
11. That is Friday of course unless my current employer doesn't make the deadline for payroll.  Then its Tuesday.  Odds I'll get paid Friday?  50-50.
12. My sister is getting married (hence the selling of the house and moving to a new house with her boyfriend) sometime before September 2006 so I have to start dealing with her wedding issues.  Yet there is no engagement.  Just the hard deadline.
13. My new office's dress code requires clothes that, while I own them, do not currently fit.
14. I only have 24 hours beginning tomorrow at noon to transfer all of my personal items off the work laptop, nuke the hard drive of incriminating files, run a DoD wiping program, restore the system using the Restore disks, update all the hardware, software, drivers, and documents, and pack it to ship to the home office.
15. Finally, I have to answer the two women who have answered/responded to my Match ad and the one who wants to chat even though she doesn't want to date.

How's your week going?

The Rose Festival Parade Direct Action League

Walkng downtown last Friday I had an epiphany.

The Rose Festival Parade Direct Action League.™

Mrs. H and I were leaving the Pioneer Place theater when we noticed the people and all the godforsaken tape littering Fourth Avenue as people claimed their spots for the Grand Floral Parade the next day.  Block after block of tape, chalk, and spray paint for people claiming their spot.

Having lived in Portland for 15 years now, I have seen the chairs, the tents, and yes, that damn tape everywhere the first week in June.  What I never understood were the people who felt entitled to a spot along the parade route since they out down a piece of tape a week earlier.  Are they serious? 

Your duct tape, which is still there three days after the event by the way, isn't a golden ticket.  It isn't a special deal; it's littering.  Sure, if you want to sit out there, or even leave a chair, I'll give you that.  But tape? Spray paint?

So next year, the The Rose Festival Parade Direct Action League™ will spring into action. 

-- Chalked words? Hosed off.
-- Any tape seen on the ground with no one around? Gone.
-- Huge tracts of tape for one family? Gone and replaced by block long strips of "Reserved for TRFPDAL".
-- The use of duct tape to mark your spot?  Not only your own special place in hell, but public shaming on parade day from the duct tape police.
-- Spray paint?  A bucket, a mop, and video cameras demanding your cleanliness.

We are your friends, your co-workers, and utter strangers.  You will never see us coming, and we will be merciless.  Your. Tape. Will. Not. Last.

You have been warned.

An Internet Dating Quandry

Internet friends I need your advice!

I was browsing through a popular local blog aggregator yesterday and happened to read a post that caught my eye.  In going to this person's site, I noticed her picture and had a "I-recognize-that-person!" moment.

You see the picture was one she had used in her online dating profile that I remember seeing a while back.  I had mentally tagged her as someone to one day email when I started paying for the service, as I am now doing. 

After seeing her blog and picture, I have since gone back to re-find her profile and contact her that way, yet cannot seem to locate it.

So here is my quandry.  I know her name and email from her blog, but I can't find her dating profile.  Should I contact her via her blog?  Should I let it slip?  Should I just keep searching for her profile?

I thought a simple, "Hi [name],  I saw your site through [website]  and realized I recognized you from your [dating site] profile.  You intrigued me before since you are a [personally identifying career position] and I thought I would say hi.  I would contact you through [dating site] but I can't seem to find your profile at the moment.

If you are at all interested in meeting, or even who the heck I am, you can get a good idea about who I am here (www.karmaville.com) at my blog. Anyway, congrats on [recent achievement] and I hope to hear from you."

Too weird?  Too personal?  Too...anything?

Help me internet friends, you're my only hope.

My Thesis

Searching for something wholly unrelated, I went back to my alma mater's website.  Browsing through the Religious Studies Department (my major), I noticed a list called "Titles of Recent Research Projects".

Although I graduated nine years ago this month, there's mine, seventh on the list.  Unless of course, someone else wrote their thesis on "Autocremation in Chinese Buddhism".

Weird.

The Best Personal Ad Ever!*

After many emails and a couple phone calls, my Match.com profile finally got fixed. 

Not only that, but what was nice is when the Match.com customer service woman tells you she wished she lived in Portland since your ad copy is the best she has ever seen.

Maybe it will work again!

*as described by Match.com's customer service  representative.  YMMV.

Uh, whoops.

That whole counting your chickens before they're hatched thing? 

Yeah, just bit me on the ass.  Ms. M just emailed me after our date that the chemistry she thought was there, actually isn't.  So c'est la vie. 

I'm not upset about it, surprisingly.  After all, can I be with someone who doesn't know who Cake is and has never heard of a blog?

The Three Things

Over the past few weeks there have been three things I have been fervently wishing for, striving to achieve, and plain ol' hoping for.

The first was a new girlfriend.  As of last weekend, that has well and truly come to pass.  Ms. M and I are happily ensconced in the beginnings of a relationship.

The second was getting offered the "dream" position at a non-profit I have always wanted to work at.  With a job offer on the table as of this afternoon, I have now achieved that.

Finally, I have always hoped for a $100 million lottery ticket.  Most of you know I have played off and on for years.  Well, good news folks.  Tomorrow's jackpot is $102 million and I bought a ticket.  The way things are going in my life right now, I am confident I'll win.

Seriously though, thanks to everyone for their good wishes, suggestions, and encouragement along the way for the first two things.

Want Free Concert Tickets?

I can't go to the Kaiser Chiefs show on Friday and SOMEONE else who was going to go is "too busy" to take them, so first email gets them.  I'll put them (2 tickets)  in mail in the morning (Thursday) for Friday's show.  You can email me here.

No cost just send positive karma my way.