Half of me.

A New Track.

I have been thinking what has worked for me in the past in terms of losing weight and two things stand out.

First, was my time in Scotland.  I ate like crap, usually ramen noodles, tea with tons of sugar, and fast food (yeah Mad Cow!), but I walked every freaking day for at least 2-3 miles.  I ended up losing 20-25 lbs. while I was there.  So the revised Weight Loss Step One for Scott now is to exercise a minimum of 3o minutes a day.

Second was using Weight Watchers.  Obviously, the Abs Diet isn't working too well since I can't seem to stick to it, so I decided to integrate the Weight Watchers point system into my food choices and tracking.  That leads to the revised Weight Loss Step Two of tracking my daily points total for food I eat.

I am also creating some shorter goals instead of just the Half of Me ultimate goal.  I have two current goals.  First is to make it through the rest of the week maintaining my points goal.  Second, I have a mid-range goal (1 month) of fitting into a pair of shorts I have so i can wear them again in Phoenix next month.

Finally, I hope to keep writing here so that I keep focused.

Three weeks to the day.

It's been three weeks since I last wrote anything and in that time I have had some setbacks, some advancements, and more than one "What the hell am I doing?" conversations with myself.

The Setbacks:
Obviously, I haven't been writing about what has been going on.  The primary factor is because not much has.  In talking with Tamar last week, we discussed having control and not being  in control and how those two things dictate a lot of what happens in our lives.

When I started doing this portion of the blog, I was not in control of any aspect of my life.  Work, home, diet, money, and relationships were all spinning wildly out of control.  This was an attempt to put some retraint and force control on the diet aspect of my life.  Soon thereafter though, home and work settled in and I felt better about life.  I mentally checked out on a few things, my diet being one of them.

Now, in the past week or so, things have started to slip once again.  I am reaping the bad decisions of my diet, work is getting crazy again, my house is a mess, until last night I didn't know if I had $2 or $2,000 in my bank account, and I hadn't seen anyone other than a couple of work people, my physical therapist or family, face to face for over a week.  Ergo, I was out of control again.  So here I am, once more, learning what I can do, what I can't do, and trying to find balance.

Net result for my diet?  I regained the weight I lost and added 2 poubnds more.  As of this morning, I weighed 305 lbs.

The Advancements:
In the past three weeks since I was last here, I have started visiting a physical therapist for my arthritis.  What this has led me to do is get up and start moving.  Everyday for the last 11 days, I have spent at least 45 minutes a day exercising in some fashion.  From weights to therapy bands to stretches to walking, I am moving everyday.  I can feel the difference in my body.  I hurt more, but it's a different hurt.  I am becoming more flexible and bendy.  This is good.

As with any habit, if you do it for 40 days, it becomes routine.  Therefore, one of my new goals is to make it to 40 days in being active.

Also, although I have been not controlling my portion size very well, I have been eating more healthy recently.  I am eating more and more foods that I cook myself from fresh/frozen ingredients rather than out of a box or can.  I am eating foods that are better for me but just eating too much of them.  Realizing this ios becoming more apparent and causing me to act differently.

The "What the Hell?" Conversations:
I am getting better at realizing when I am doing something stupid.  That pretty much sums that up.

So, here I am again.  Hopefully, I will stick through this better this time.  I realize in life most people don't succeed in changing their lives the first, second, or even eighty-third time.  It takes practice and patience.

For those of you who wrote or called to kick my ass, I say thank you.  You did what I asked your help in doing, even if it seemed like I was ignoring you.  Your patience, and impatience at times, helped get me going again, and will hopefully lead me to keep going.

Week One recap.

Well, the week started okay and then went completely to hell diet-wise.

I knew I would have these sort of problems, especially the way that I am doing this so I decided to focus on the poisitives when this happened.  So here are the lessons I learned, and the step to correct them.

Problem #1:   Lack of planning.  I ended up grabbing food at work and on the road when I was hungry and made bad choices.  This also led to bad shopping choices.

Solution #1:   I created a full schedule of meals and snacks for the week and have planned out my shopping.  You can see the schedule here.

Problem #2:   Lack of faith.  Once I screwed up, I figuratively threw up my hands and said, "Well, today's wasted, let's eat Oreos."

Solution #2:  I need to work on taking it one step at a time rather than swinging for the fences each time.  This is where I plan to start bugging people more.  If I screw up, I plan to call or email someone who has agreed to be one of my support people and in essence, confess.

Problem #3:   Overeating.

Solution #3:   Ideas here would be helpful.

Day Three.

Day Three was the first true test of willpower, of which I give myself an overall B-. 

I was in the road early for meetings WAY across town and had to leave before I normally do.  So I was rushed and didn't grab any real breakfast or anything later for a snack.  All I managed to get was a banana for the drive in.

But in my Starbucks visit, where I would normally grab a scone or two, I said no and just got my venti China Green Tips tea.  Later in the morning I stopped at a Fred Meyer and got a loaf of flax/whole wheat bread and a couple slices of roast beef and cheese for an impromptu sandwich.  A large milk a little later kept me going until I could get a real meal.

All of this was before 11, so by the time I was heading home from my meetings it was about 3:30 and I was starving.  I needed more groceries, so I broke cardinal rule No. 1.  I went grocery shopping while hungry.

Now this is where I was rather proud of myself.  I purchased only items that were on the Powerfoods list (from the Abs Diet), and didn't let myself cheat except for the type of cheese I bought.  I got the full fat Tillamook Sliced Sharp Cheddar rather than the fat-free Kraft stuff, but I am not worrying about that.

I got home, had a decent snack of veggies and hummus, and prepped dinner (open face lean burger with mustard and cheese) .  A late snack of air popped popcorn and more veggies and hummus ended the day.  All in all not too bad. 

Today's Grades
Portion Control: C
Food Selection: B
Overall: B-

Day Two.

Day Two started okay, then temptation struck.

My early morning weigh-in was 303.0, down a half-pound and I felt pretty good.  Fruit and yogurt for breakfast, with some string cheese for a snack later on.  Then, as I was looking for lunch, I made an impulsive decision and a misguided one.

My misguided decision was on portion control.  I had some of the leftover spinach lasagna from Christmas that had been frozen.  Unfortunately, my sister bagged them in groups of two instead of singly so I ended up with a double portion of lasagna.  Otherwise, it was a pretty good choice since spinach and ricotta were two of the foods of which I am trying to eat more.

My impulsive decision was Chex Mix.  Mom made some for us for Christmas and I had forgotten it was there.  I have a SERIOUS addiction to Chex Mix and before I even could register, I had taken a small handful.  Now that isn't too bad, but it lead to several small handfuls and one large handful, all of which I duly noted in my food journal.

I ended up not eating dinner since I was still full from the Chex Mix and lasagna, but had a snack later of yogurt and an apple, so I felt like I redeemed myself somewhat by getting back on track and not just giving in.  Small victories I guess.

Day One.

As promised, my starting measurements are below.  I know I said earlier that I would prefer that you didn't comment on specifics, but what they hell, have fun if you want. 

Today has already seen me start The Diet section of my plans and should be the start of The Workout section as well.  I'll detail more about my workout plans later in the day.  Also, you'll notice I am keeping a daily weigh-in log on the side since someone told me I needed to post my daily weigh-ins. 

I am keeping a photo diary every week but am not ready to post those on the internet yet.  I am not looking to be a Fark photoshop contest anytime soon.  I'll update the full stats once a week and the weight daily.

But without further ado, my stats (sans picture) are below. 

Let's try this again, shall we?

In discussing our plans for New Year's Eve, Eric asked me if I was having a free day.  I told him it had been pretty much a free week.  I wasn't quite ready yet it seems to take control, but after some subtle and gentle ass-kicking from certain people last night, I am ready to go.

As last Saturday was supposed to be Day One, and that didn't happen.  Let's let today be Day One.

The Start Date.

Betsy asked why the hell am I starting on Christmas Day, albeit a little more politely.  It boils down to the fact that I wanted to eat my family's traditional Christmas lasagna one more time without guilt.  Yeah my family's traditional Christmas Eve meal is lasagna, you got a problem with that?

And since we have no Christmas Day traditional meals, I figured the sooner the better and I am ready to get going.  So that is why I am starting the food portion of my diet on Saturday.  Additionally, Saturday is exactly 11 weeks until my vacation and I want to meet certain goals before then.  I am starting the exercise portion of the plan on Monday after I clear a couple of things with my doctor.

The Diet.

My biggest downfall is my inability to eat controlled portions of healthy food.  I can usually do one or the other, but the two together seem to elude me.  So I am going to combine two things I think are good basic healthy eating programs.

I am going to use the Weight Watcher's point system to help me control portions while using the Abs Diet book as my primary guide to healthy food choices.  I know the WW points program I can live with, since I have before, and I trust the nutritional advice from the Abs Diet since it falls in line with my doctor's recommendations and fits the "commom sense" test.

The book is published by the editor of Men's Health, of which I am a subscriber, and the FAQ can be found here.  If any of you want to read the book, let me know and I'll let you borrow it.

I am going to keep an off-line food diary of everything that will be going into my mouth and will post excerpts from it as I go through.  However, if any of you who are interested in what it says or want to check up on me,  I hereby give you the right to demand to see it and make sure I am on pace.  See, you can pick on me if you want!.  With permission!

Half of me.

One of the primary reasons I am doing this again is that my weight hit one of those mythical numbers I swore I would go over.  Seeing those numbers was a serious shock to me and was just another straw on the camel's increasingly strained back.

When I first started losing weight with Weight Watchers back in March of 2003, my weight had been at a pretty static point.  I ate pretty much what I wanted and stayed around 275-280 lbs without much effort.  I was moderately active through work, walking 2-3 miles a day back and forth at work and in commuting.  I had gained a little more and more right before I started and was about 293 (according to the WW scale) when I started there.  After four months of some effort, but not total commitment, I was about 252, again according to their scale.

But since then, I have become more sedentary through a job change, lost a support system that I had at work, became more house bound, and added several medications that haven't helped me maintain my weight.  So I watched and noticed here and there that my weight was creeping up.  As with most things, it was pretty insidiuous.  By a pound here and a pound there, I all of a sudden noticed that I had gained all the weight back. 

But I evidently wasn't done.  It kept coming.  And coming.

As of the latest time I weighed myself, (yesterday morning), I weighed 308 lbs.  Now this was on a scale that was less than the WW scale I would have used before, and without the clothes I would have worn.  On that scale I would probably have been about 315.  I crossed the 300 mark a couple of weeks ago but ignored it as I waited for the moment to get going.  Denial is a powerful thing.

So as I get going, I need to set some goals.  After l;ooking at various weight charts, body mass indicator charts, and talking to my doctor, I have come to a target number that I am comfortable with and I feel is doable. 

I want to lose half of my body weight, approximately 150 lbs.  So that is where the "Half of Me" name comes from--it is my primary goal.  Now, I can think of three of you immediately who will tell me I am crazy, that me at a 150 lbs. loss would be too much.  But I think I can do it, my doctor thinks I can and should do it, and most importantly, I want to be there.  So Goal #1 is half my weight.

As I measure myself on Saturday morning to set my baseline numbers, I'll add certain other goals and benchmarks.